Say it ain't so!

Many people document wise sayings and tidbits of inspirational information. However, I prefer to document some of the truly assinine sayings that I've had the misfortune of hearing as well as pieces of conversations from my various workplaces.

I'm sure many people have sayings that are just as stupid - feel free to send some to me!

6/13/06
"I believe in humility – since I have such an extensive, structured and enviable background in sociology and human behavior."

Same person: "I’m a natural born mover and shaker when it comes to jobs and promotions. However, people ignore that quality in me since I’ve been doing the exact same job for over 12 years now."

6/26/06
"Irregardless of the fact that this [initiative] is not going to be implemented because the system logic is flawed, I think you should research it thoroughly. This will be a valuable endeavor that will help you learn the ropes."

6/26/06
Well, people are only human you know. (Wow, really?! This comment was made during a meeting in which someone asked why a group of developers could not perform a certain set of tasks in a week.)

2005
Manager: “I’m restructuring the department since I can’t handle all of the work anymore. There will be three directors who will each be over two people.”

Employee: So, what will you be doing now?”

Manager: “I will be delegating” (apparently, there is a whole job out there that only requires a VP to delegate).

1/4/2006
Manager to Analyst: “Do you think that the items on this priority list is really a priority?”

Analyst: “No, why don’t you call the document owner and find out.”

1/5/2006
I’m not that difficult to get along with if you agree with me. “Do you think?”
[Clearly I do think but that is not the question, is it? Then again, I must agree if we are to get along.]

9/13/2006
Project Manager: This process flow doesn’t make sense. Should we just reverse it?

Analyst: I’m sorry, I don’t follow.”

Project Manager: Well, for example, shouldn’t the “end process” (and yes, he used finger quotes) be at the bottom of the page?

Analyst: But there are only two swim lanes. It’s on the far right side of the page. It clearly indicates the end of the process.

Project Manager: Yeah, I know, but shouldn’t it be at the end of the page?”

Analyst: It's a process flow. It’s at the end of the process.

Project Manager: I like things to be evenly lined up. I like it better at the end of the page. Why don’t you just go ahead and move it?
Clearly, I was not going to win that argument using any form of logic...