Tribute - Leather Pants, Mullet Rock, etc.

I'm still laughing at the styles from the concert. Therefore, I have decided to unleash my *ahem* brilliant creativity on the world (really it's just anyone who cares or dares to read this!) in true Al Yankovic style (altho' he does this much better) in between the moments of insanity I suffer at work all day long.

Don't Stop Itchin' - Sung to tune of “Don’t stop believin’ “ by Journey (Tribute to the many leather pants and the inevitable chafing to follow!)

"Just a small time itch…
growing into sensational spurts
I take the liberty of scratching everywhere…

Just a small time itch…
Driving me into a stitch
...
if I have to explain to my doctor one more time…
It goes on and on and on and on…

Strangers staring…down at my private parts
Wondering what’s going on tonight…
Feels like
fire ants
marching through a long fieeeelllddd

Shadows of me scratching in the night…

Rubberneckers
Nosy People
Scared to shake my hand

Not knowing what they'll catch...

{END}

Pour some Desenex on Me! Sung to the tune of “Pour Some Sugar on Me” by Def Leppard (Tribute #2 to leather pants and chafing!)

“Chafing like a bomb
baby I can’t get it on
Looking like a tramp
an outdated 80’s rock vamp
Talcum powder, desenex, fungal spray
help me out cause I'm chafin' tonight

Oh, aww! Oh, aww!

Summertime, chafing time
Powder me down
Little miss prissy staring me down

O-awwww!

Grab a box and rip it up
Break the box and pour it out!

pour some Desenex on me
ooh, in the name of relief,
pour some Desenex on me…
come on and cool me down
pour some Desenex on me

I'm hot, sticky and powdery
From my head down to my feet!

{END}

Homage to Joe Elliott's Long Leopard Coat (lead singer for DL for those not in the know!) Sung to the tune of Hysteria by DL:

"Out of style,
And still oh so furry
You can try
But you can’t get away from me…

I’m in fur love
I’m in deep yeah
Oooh ooh why, do you feel so good?

I gotta wear you tonight
No matter how warm it is tonight
Can't give up my fur coat
no matter how long and tiiiight

Hysterical…
Is how I feel
Whenever you’re not near
When you're not near
I despair!

It’s so magical, when you’re here
That’s why I need you,
my leopard coat (background)
I can't believe it

My leopard coat…
Nothing can compare…

{END}

Mullet Rock Chorus - Sung to tune of “Wheels in the sky” by Journey

"Mullets in the wind keep on blowin’
You should really be cut tomorrow…
Mullets in the wind keep on blowin’
But I don’t know how I’ll live without you"

Credits & Acknowledgements
Thanks to the following:

All the guys who thought that the best style for the night was a mullet and leather pants (in 80+ degrees). I am convinced the combination was chosen purely for my amusement!

Joe Elliott for breaking out the full length leopard print fur coat (again, it's 80-degrees dood!). Hey, I like your music but c'mon, it's 2006.

Irish (http://sharkswithlaserbeams.blogspot.com) for helping me create the titles to these hits (or near misses) and for reminding me of the old man boobies. Ugh.